HOW TO BE A GOOD FRIEND TO A NEW MOM.

“HI FRIENDS COME SEE HOW CUTE MY BABY IS!!!! BRING ME THAI ICED TEA!!!!! XOXO, MEGAN”

The weeks following pushing a baby out of your body are kind of insane.  Your body feels weird and sore and you’re tired and you can’t imagine having to actually live life on top of taking care of this new human.  Here are a few things that you can do to ease the stress of that transition for your friends.

1.  Answering a phone is simply too much to ask of new parents and yes, I am completely serious.  Or if you really want to call and actually be supportive, don’t expect anyone to answer and leave a voicemail about how awesome your friend is and that you don’t need or expect a call back.  Send a text or an email and expect to get a reply back at 3:46am when mom is up breastfeeding with iPhone in hand.
2.  Your friends may or may not want visitors while they’re in the hospital, so tactfully feel it out.  If the answer is yes, bring food!  Take special requests, especially for dad, because he has probably been eating nothing but popsicles and orange juice for 48 hours.
3.  You are also only allowed to come over to your friends’ house if you have food and probably alcohol.  Try not to bring anything over that you ever want to see again because it’s too hard to remember what came from who.  This is an example timeline for your visit:
4:00 — arrive at your friend’s house with food in tow at a prearranged time.  Your friend might be getting dressed for the first time that day 3 minutes before you show up. 
4:02 — your friend will finally get to the door because she’s juggling like 27 things.
4:03 — “omg! that is the cutest baby i have ever seen! she looks just like you! you don’t even look like you just had a baby! you are incredible! i am so impressed!” This is all said by you as you get the oven preheated, throw the food in there, and maybe wash a couple of dishes.
4:06 — leave.  Just get out because your friend probably feels self-conscious and tired and can’t remember the last time she brushed her teeth.
An alternative option for the 4:03 time slot is offering to hold the baby (if you’re comfortable doing so) while offering to let your friend hop in the bath tub.  Maybe even take the baby on a quick walk around the block so that if there is crying, mom can’t hear it and can actually get a break instead of being stressed out from a distance.
4.  Throw a salad in with the food you bring.  Or some fruit, etc. etc. etc.  All the casseroles you get are delicious, but everybody needs a break now and then.
5.  A couple of hours before you head to the grocery store or Costco, send a text your friend’s way to see if she needs you to pick up anything for her and then deliver it to her house.  Maybe even leave it on the doorstep and text her to let her know her stuff is out there.

4 Comments

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  1. 6. Double-tap ALL the Instagrams! (Mostly because I don't think a casserole could handle cross-country transit.)

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  2. What if you accidentally live a million miles away?

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  3. Yes! Totally. My favorite thing ever is when people ask to see pictures of Finn. My second favorite thing ever is when people affirm me for sharing millions of pictures of him with them against their will.

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  4. 1, Visit (duh.)
    2, Order me a BBQ Chicken Pizza (with ranch on the side) from Mellow Mushroom and have it delivered to my house

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